Mariane's Narratives

been a while (actually wwwwhhhiiiillllleeeee) since i posted
happy to say i'm halfway done with my freakingbusystuff
tomorrow i'll be reporting for my film 100 class finally. i wasn't able to attend last time due to a terrible headache that caused me to vomit my lunch (garlic and mushroom pizza) c/o The Chocolate Kiss. i dunno why but i don't like eating there. not ever. ang mahal na di naman masarap na masarap.
or maybe it's just me bitter over my empty pocket.
niweiz, nung friday tapos na ang jounr 101 report ko. ang kas 1 special presentation ko naman is 75% done. a minor report for my philippine games class will happen 3 weeks later pa so medyo relaxed ako about dun. pero xempre, medyo inaalala ko na lang ang essence ng report namin kasi nagkaka-stml na naman me. stml is short-term memory loss.
anyhow, i'm almost there, matatapos na ito. konti na lang. btw, tinakasan ang buddy-bidding ng org na interested akong sumali (comm res society) today kasi manonood ako ng naruto! hehe...
i do want to join an organization pero i don't want that today... still have many things circling my head pa eh...
or maybe it's my lazy, indolent self reasoning again... hehe
tomorrow i have a quiz on film 100 and as usual, recitation for pol sci 14. well can't tell much na. ala na akong masabi eh.
eto na lang pagtiyagaan ang poem ni mariane

CIGARS
I see you slouching
At that corner of the room
You must be
Smoking
I know that face
You’re a whole new person
When you’re in that
Trance
What world do you create
When you light that stick?
What world do you escape from
When you blow your cigar?
You smoke quietly
No rustling,
No fluttering
As I watch you
I am amazed
By the pinpoint silence
We make
I smooth the covers
With my palms
Stay with me
I want to exclaim
But I don’t squeak a word
So I pretend
To be asleep
While you smoke
While you traverse
Your uncharted paths
I sleep with mine
A no-smoking area
A pristine view
Very distinct
From your fogs, ash, soot
Yet I’m not happy
With my world
I stand up
Saunter to you
‘can I have a light?’
you look up
and hand me a stick
I smoke with you
And with the huffing and puffing,
I smile to myself
Now, I know your reasons
But I still don’t know you
But I guess it won’t matter
I never knew you anyway

i should stop smoking.
it kills my brain cells.
since monday, i've been puffing two sticks a day (winston, the brand manufactured by fortune tobacco, who is owned by the richest and slimiest businessman in the country, lucio tan) and it's making me lose my concentration, crave for a lot of food and feel drowsy and sleepy.
it's not good because i want to study but my body betrays me and tells me sleeping, slacking off and surfing the net are better things.
i mean it's always been that way but i used to have control over my actions. i can tolerate reading a 36-page long of a reading in one seating *especially for this sem* but now, even a 17-page one already bores me.
i'm not depressed. just jaded.
btw, my kas 1 group video presentation was shown today. my humiliation has been consummated. oh well. it's over and done.
tomorrow in my journ 101 class, we'll be tackling newswriting and shit. forgotten much about it. haven't practiced much either. we'll see.
hah. really need to stop smoking.
for the meantime.
before it gets into my system.
like rurouni kenshin fanfictions that take up most of my midnight computer trips. shit.
oh well,that's all for now. tata!
ps
yep, new layout. finally.
and i said stop not quit smoking. meaning i don't intend to cut the habit off permanently.

unless you know what my kas 1 video presentation (group) contains, you will not relate with the consummated humiliation i briefly stated the last time. so i will tell the contents of that presentation.
it was actually a harmless video because it contained the report of my group in an/a interview/panel discussion/talkshow format. i was the host because i was the most talkative, loud, thick-faced member of the group. and another reason is that i wrote the script so i suppose i should get the least lines no?
anyway, the embarrassing part was the individual music video where i lipsynched "tell me where it hurts" while doing silly, silly, silly gestures that singers do when they sing (yeah the paemote-emote, pacurl-curl ng hands, pagiling-giling ng body etc.).
yep, in short, UTTER HUMILIATION and i don't know how they were able to make me do it.
damn. i was bamboodled. (was that correct? whatever...)
at least, i proved to myself i am no longer that shy elementary hermit years back.
yeah right.
i do hope we get a good grade for that. it's 50% of our total grade so i really do wish we do.
i shouldn't be telling this in this journal but i just couldn't shrug off this irritating guy who is my classmate in three of my classes.
i won't name him because yeah, i'm a coward and yeah, i'm a coward.
he's good-looking but he has an air of BRAGGART confidence that makes me feel like a piece of shit when he's around. i don't know what's the deal but he makes me feel like that. i don't jive with him (i did try to strike a conversation with him and unfortunately, i missed) and i don't like him.
he's one of those people who irritate me for no apparent reason. i used to take notice of him because he seemed mysterious and laidback. but in one of my classes where he's my classmate, he's just a fucking sore asshole.
i know i should ignore him but can i help it when i see him three freaking times a week???
see what reactions he manages to elicit from me??? i should stop talking about him and end this entry. i'm giving him too much airtime.
and no, this is not "tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib" kind of stuff. i really do dislike him. but i will try to ignore his being a dickhead. he's not worth the attention anyway.
no more to say. at least i'm posting...
that's all, tata!

OH MY GOD.
If you haven't read Harry Potter 6 and do not want to be spoiled, look away. Now.
Dumbledore's dead! And Snape killed him! And Draco's a Death eater now! And Ginny and Harry are together (but the latter broke off with her because of the circumstances, but still kissed the former)! And Snape is the Half-blood Prince!
I need a copy of that book now. How'd I found out the plot details? Well, CBBC Newsround has a HBP Spoiler Zone.
Oh no.
Come to think of it, if I obtain a copy of HP6 now, I will not be able to focus on my studies.
But hell I crave for the copy.
My God. What revelations. I am speechless now.

out of our curiosity as to the beauty (or lack thereof) of the aforementioned place, my mom and i decided to go to gateway today.
one fitting adjective to describe the place is: elitist.
obviously, only those who earn a stable income or the "maykayas" can afford to buy in the boutiques there. even the food is expensive (except for Food Express which is their counterpart of SM's Food Court).
the place is also clean, neat and soothing, unlike SM which looks too... i don't know... basta gateway looks better.
because we can't afford the prices of gateway boutiques, we went to farmer's plaza and bought myself some clothes.
and we also played bingo! unfortunately, i and mom didn't have that so-called beginner's luck. i suppose i'm not lucky when it comes to gambling, or bingo at least. mom said that when she plays bingo with trisha, she or trisha wins some cash. oh well, maybe i'm casino material. XD
that's all, tata!
ps
i'm so sad with hbp...
must be very hard for jk to kill that character off

the good news is arao and i got to bond a while ago, and catch up with (or is it on? dunno, very poor with prepositions eh) each other's lives.
the bad news is we got caught.
arao made puslit of me in her kamia dormitory. non-residents are not allowed to go up the residents' rooms. i was able to go to her room, without being noticed by the receptionist. however, when i was going home, the receptionist cast a dubious glance at me. she approached me and asked twice if i were a resident.
caught in the act and not thinking properly, i said i was. i gave my name, made up a room and well, i didn't succeed. i dropped my act when i was already asked by the sort of assistant dorm manager.
shit happens. it happened to me today. i really thought they'd send me to the tribunal and fuck my record up. the dorm manager was considerate enough because she said if she reported the incident to my college, my future will be ruined. the assistant was more insistent in punishing me hardcore. i do hope the dorm manager will stick to her word and not report it to my college.
i admit, that was so bloody positively totally really very stupid to do and i should have just admitted i was a visitor (but i actually thought i could get away with it and i didn't want arao to get involved... oh well). i know that i also have to face the consequences responsibly. but i know that those consequences should not be that grave for it to cut short my dreams.
still, the paranoid i am. i am expecting the worst.
if that happens, expect this blog not to be updated anytime soon.
damn. i wish she wouldn't make sumbong. i so bloody positively totally really very swear i will never show my face at kamia again.
of course, i apologized to arao. pero ang malas ko lang talaga. kasi ang daaaaaammmmiiii nang gumawa nung ganun. natiyempuhan lang ako.
shit.
i will never wear pink again. yun ang kulay ng tshirt ko kanina. sisihin raw ba ang inosenteng tshirt?
hanggang dito na lang.
magpapakaparanoid na muna ako.

there's a funny interview done by emerson, one of the "execs" at mugglenet, and melissa, one of the "execs" of the leaky cauldron, with jk rowling. in case you don't know, which i 85% believe to be the case, mugglenet and the leaky cauldron are premier news/fan sites on Harry Potter. here's the link: clickie!.
don't read it if you're spoiler-allergic, because a lllooooottttt were spoiled there. it's a funny interview because jk actually discusses the whole shipping thing going on in the potterverse.
to quote some (they are not in a chronological order, this is taken from the part two):

JKR: I will say, that yes, I personally feel - well it's going to be clear once people have read book six. I mean, that’s it. It’s done, isn’t it? We know. Yes, we do now know that it's Ron and Hermione. I do feel that I have dropped heavy -
[All crack up]
JKR: - hints. ANVIL-sized, actually, hints, prior to this point. I certainly think even if subtle clues hadn't been picked up by the end of “Azkaban,” that by the time we hit Krum in Goblet...

JKR: Well I think anyone who is still shipping Harry/Hermione after this book -
ES: [whispered] Delusional!
JKR: Uh - no! But they need to go back and reread, I think.
ES: Thank you.
JKR: Yeah.
MA: That is going to -
JKR: Will it make your lives slightly easier?
[All three]: Yeah, yeah.
JKR: I think so.

JKR: It amuses me. It honestly amuses me. People have been waxing lyrical [in letters] about Draco Malfoy, and I think that's the only time when it stopped amusing me and started almost worrying me. I'm trying to clearly distinguish between Tom Felton, who is a good looking young boy, and Draco, who, whatever he looks like, is not a nice man. It’s a romantic, but unhealthy, and unfortunately all too common delusion of — delusion, there you go — of girls, and you [nods to Melissa] will know this, that they are going to change someone. And that persists through many women's lives, till their death bed, and it is uncomfortable and unhealthy and it actually worried me a little bit, to see young girls swearing undying devotion to this really imperfect character, because there must be an element in there, that "I'd be the one who [changes him]." I mean, I understand the psychology of it, but it is pretty unhealthy. So, a couple of times I have written back, possibly quite sharply, saying [Laughter], "You want to rethink your priorities here."

JK:...Generally speaking, I shut down those lines of speculation that are plain unprofitable. Even with the shippers. God bless them, but they had a lot of fun with it. It's when people get really off the wall — it's when people devote hours of their time to proving that Snape is a vampire that I feel it's time to step in, because there's really nothing in the canon that supports that.
ES: It's when you look for those things —
JKR: Yeah, it's after the 15th rereading when you have spots in front of your eyes that you start seeing clues about Snape being the Lord of Darkness. So, there are things I shut down just because I think, well, don't waste your time, there's better stuff to be debating, and even if it's wrong, it will probably lead you somewhere interesting. That's my rough theory anyway.

JKR: I suppose, so many people are posting, that you would expect them to come up with virtually every possibility.
ES: Oh, yeah, they have come up with everything.
MA: Harry/Basilisk.
[All crack up.]
JKR: Ain't it the truth. I know! I suppose if I did spend all my time on there, pretty much my whole future plot would be on there somewhere.

Well, i'm one of those guilty, delusional shippers. i mean, if they thought harry/hermione was delusional already, what more would draco/hermione be???? and yes, i think i know where that harry/basilisk fic was located *sneers*. did i read it? *sneers again*
on a side note, i'm happy for my friend CLARE FELISE VERGARA MAGNO on her decision to study abroad. i'll bloody miss her but i know she'll have the best future for herself with that decision. (besides what are emails for?) i would have done the same. proud of you, girl! lovelots... take care.
that's all, i don't want to drabble about acads. it's a pain in the ass.
tata!

MY CRUSH JUST TALKED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
..
...
....
.....
ok, i'm calm now...here's the story:
classes were suspended from 10-12 am a while ago. pol sci 14 happened to be 11:30-1 that's why our class had doubts/ hunches whether we had classes or not. there's a university policy that once the professor isn't in class within 1/3 of the whole class time (in our case, 30 minutes after official beginning of class time), the students can already leave. so it meant, according to suspension of classes "proclamation", that our class was actually dismissed. kaya nga lang we had second thoughts.
most of us left, a few stayed on, and a few of those who left came back.
my crush happened to be the first to leave but came back later to verify if there were classes or not.
i stayed on, being the good--and dumb--student i was. when he returned, i was conversing with some of my classmates and he sort of sauntered to us. we had small talk.
when the small talk died, he left and talked to his seatmate, who was at the other side of the corridor. a classmate of mine said we should sit inside the class so that we can get some fresh air (oddly, mas mainit sa labas ng room kaysa sa loob). some followed him and i hesitantly did too. i stopped at the front door and to my surprise, HE stopped too.
i asked him what time it was and whether his time was synchronized to university time. he said it was 12:15 and his time was advanced by a few minutes to the university time. then dead air. we broke apart and i went to my friend who knew i had a crush on him and siyempre, mega girly kilig ang itsura ko no?!
was happy that happened. what even made me happier is that the guy i am irritated at got reprimanded today. serves him right, that arrogant prick.
^_^
i can't believe i'm blushing over my pol sci 14 guy. won't give away the name for possible blackmail purposes to me, hehe. this is sooooo high school. then again, i still am a girl (contrary to popular belief). i do get affected by gorgeous, mysterious, hot men you know.
::giggles::
that's all, til next time, tata!

i am getting addicted to rurouni kenshin fics lately. i particularly liked lemons but some fics managed to catch my eye and steal my heart. basically, i love angsty, sexual tension-filled, battousai/kaor, au romance/stories. mas umiiyak pa ako sa mga fanfics than in real-life situations (you have NO idea how pent-up i could be).
here's my recommendations:
The Fires of Amber by Anna-neko. This is a lemon discussing how Kaoru unleashes the Battousai in Kenshin. Nice fic and more importantly, nice lemon scenes. hehe.
The Spy and the Hitokiri by Anna-neko. Written in shifting POV's between Kaoru and Kenshin. Kaoru's past comes knocking on her door one day and the Kenshingumi gets involved. Beautiful characterization between Kenshin and Kaoru. I am a bit bothered by Kaoru's overspunkness though. Still, in its entirety, this fic is impeccable.
Broken Pieces by Linay. A lot of AU fanfics out there have focused on the Kenshin-is-Battousai-assigned-to-kill-Kaoru theme but NONE, by far, NONE has been able to pull it off the way this fic has. I was obsessed with this fic instantly. I kept visualizing what Kenshin's apartment looked like, how seedy the Sakura Tea House was and how much sexual tension there was between Kenshin and Kaoru. Linay's writing is amazing and the flow of the story is just breath-taking. Btw, Linay is a Filipina.
Piercing Silence by Scented Candles. I read this story because it only had eight chapters and there was a humongous feedback for it. It's still ongoing and I believe it's not even halfway through the story. I love it because it has limey, limey scenes, and angsty, angsty situations. The lime gets to be a little too much sometimes but it's all good because it's needed in the storyline. The story goes like this: Kaoru is Kenshin's girlfriend for over a year now and yet, Kenshin refuses to become public about their relationship. Kaoru respects his decision thinking that Kenshin is just really a private person but lately, she's been thinking that that's not all there is to it. Not very original, I know, but the writer has a way with words that makes you want to read the fic. I like the plot altogether.
Rain of Blood by Vitreux and basically all her stories. Vitreux is such a talented writer and this fic proves how much. All her other fics are just as good. Read it to know what I'm saying.
Fever Dreams by Sekihara Tae. I love the Battousai chracterization and the transition of the battle inside Kenshin's soul. Short but sweet and definitely a worthy read.
Defying Gravity by dementedchris. A short fic discussing a not so original plotline. I have a tendency to hate predictable stories but this one made me fall for its predictability. It's a love triangle between Kaoru/Kenshin/Tomoe, with Kaoru as Kenshin's bestfriend and Tomoe being Kenshin's object of affection. Kaoru loves Kenshin but the latter loves Tomoe, who is committed to Akira. Things take a different turn however as fate has plans for them. The fic is written in different POV's and the way it is written is done superbly. Defying Gravity has a way of touching you when you don't think you wouldn't be touched.
Room 52 by Andrina. AU. Kaoru, a young nurse, somehow ended up in a big mess named Kenshin. To forgive, to forget, and to move on. That was all they asked for.. KxK, SxM, AxM. What drove me to read this story, though I sorta knew Kaoru would give Kenshin a reason to live, is the subtle way it gets to you. As you read the story, you get drawn to the plot and the characters. There is a well-balanced treatment to all the pairings mentioned and I just adore the Megumi/Sano scenes. I probably will turn a Megumi/Sano shipper someday. There are poignant and moving scenes in the fic and oh, how I cried during those times. It's still a story in progress.
As of now I'm reading: Frozen Moonlight by JaneDrew, In These Final Hours by Zeh Wulf, Mind of a Woman and Heart of a Woman by Anna-Neko, The Devil's Workshop by MysticShadowWanderer and some lemons. *sniggers*
Will tell you if they're any good. Do read them, AU naman sila eh, meaning hindi siya parallel sa storyline ng anime/manga.
Btw, because of this whole RK fic craze going on, nakaisip ako ng four stories. Here they are with tentative titles:
Tainted Souls- Kenshin is looking for a way to atone. Kaoru is running away from a dark past. The two meet one fateful night and learn from each other the way to face their pasts.
My Husband is a Hitokiri- Kaoru has found the perfect husband in Kenshin--polite, loving, thoughtful and nice. That was until a letter at her doorstep tells her Kenshin was a former hitokiri.
Obra Maestra- Kaoru poses for Kenshin's latest art project. What started as professional painting sessions turns out to be a slow, harmonious union of two broken souls.
Mind Games- Kenshin hates company. Kaoru, a new girl in school, bugs him all the time. Will the two know each other amidst death threats, bomb explosions and deceitful ploys?
Portrait of Serenity- Tomoe/Kenshin. Prequel to Obra Maestra. Kenshin needed a model who exemplified a cool, serene beauty. Little did he know that his life needed one too.
Tell me what you think.
til then, tata!

just finished reading mind of a woman and heart of a woman by anna-neko (go to rkdreams.com). nice fics, very funny although a bit OOC. i commend her writing, it is wonderful and the idea for the fic is original. anna-neko is one of those few authors who prefer to write stories in the parallel universe of rurouni kenshin when most, including me, would rather do it in an alternate universe.
on another note, just watched the SONA. my reactions: it's bloody short, bloody averting, and bloody ideal. it's bloody short, it's only 15-20 minutes. bloody averting, because it refused to tackle the current controversies surrounding the government. although gma did imply that the nation should start acting as one and that economic reforms will continue despite of political chaos. bloody ideal because as usual, she said that our country is ready for economic take-off and all that jazz.
i've chosen three topics to do a second lead story on. one, is her statement that "permanent peace in mindanao is within reach", second, is about the use of renewable, indigenous energy source as a solution to the world oil price hikes and lastly, her claim that in the last 4 years, 4 million jobs were generated to the nation.
the first one is quite ambitious because i have to talk to military people about the news. i'm going to email my prof for suggestions and some tips. the second is quite ok because there are reachable sources on the matter. the last one is too obvious a news story so i will probably not delve on to that.
i'm really batting for the first one though i believe and foresee i will undergo hell before acquiring a good story. oh well, whatever.
that's all for now
ja!
PS
ja means later in Japanese.
i still need to do my comm 100 handouts and review my film 100 report. i bloody hope i do report because i have already forgotten what my report is all about you know.

finally i got to report on my film 100 class. glad almost everyone liked the handouts i made.
tomorrow, comm 100 naman. pero video presentation yun eh, so no effort talaga.
hay, journ 101 naman ang aasikasuhin ko. will probably email any faculty member of the islamic studies group and scour for articles, etc. on milf/mindanao peace talks.
but i'm thinking maybe i should do the kidnapping rates have dipped contradiction because it's easier to write.
or maybe i'll stick with the mindanao thingie since i've started researching on it.
kainis naman. hirap talaga pag schizo.
yun lang bye!