Mariane's Narratives

hell na naman! enrolment na naman kasi and the poor system that up has is draining all my energy, time and resources. kagagaling ko nga lang sa sakit kahapon eh. kung hindi, siguro i would have gotten my admission slip and today, nage-enroll na ako. but my immune system refused to give me this proper time allocation for this hellish activity. oh well, can't un-"happen" what's happened already.
anyways, today my mom and i went to up for my alleged registration. mom insisted to accompany me kasi baka raw mabinat ako. doubtful about my physical condition, pumayag na rin ako. akala ko talaga madali lang makakuha ng admission slip kasi feeling ko ang dami nang nakakuha ng sa kanila weeks ago. but fate told me otherwise so ayun, mega 4 hours kami naghintay ni mama.
ang na-accomplish ko lang ay ang makuha ang crs results ko from my former college, makuha ang medical certificate ko and makuha ang classcard ko sa weight training. katuwa nga kasi 2.75 ako sa pe! biruin mo yun? mas mataas pa siya sa bowling ko?! grabe talaga, thankful ako. sa env sci 1 ko naman, natsambahan kong mauno. dahil yun sa .25 na complete attendance. hehe... akalain mo si mariane hindi nag-absent sa isang klase? dupang talaga sa grade eh no?
well, nung row na namin para gawan ng admission slip, aba, aba, aba! sabi nung Manong sa Monday na lang daw. sige, nag-concede na rin ako kasi naaawa ako sa mga nag-aasikaso nun. aapat lang sila, handwritten pa ang admission slip! whattasystem! hindi bale, sa monday mega-7 o'clock nasa up na ako para makarami ng enlist. saka nagpamigay naman ng numbers para priority kaming nakapapila na. and guess what? i'm lucky number one! whattajoke! hindi pa talaga ako pinasingit.
hay, i need all my chakra on monday for the whole-day enrolment process. anim na subjects pa ieenlist ko no!
good luck na lang sa akin...
ayun lang, til next time!

i was supposed to share my first day of school churva but i thought that's so cliche and besides, nothing else happened so i decided to make kuwento this na lang:
it's a little personal but it's medyo vague so i decided to post it anyway...
it's official.
my family is as dysfunctional as any normal family.
and for that, it's functionally dysfunctional. it's the system that worked for us. should, at least. or else we are all doomed to.. i don't know, hell?
i've got a mom who can't handle her money properly, overly sensitive, bashes as soon as possible, almost our personal maid, carries the burden of managing the house and loves us unconditionally.
as for my dad, he's a self-righteous prick who cooks so terribly good, a good carpenter/ mechanic/ plumber/ and basically all that man-household-fixing stuff, criticizes my mom ever so always it makes me think that's how he shows his love(?) for her, uuuubbbbbeeeeerrrr lazy (he's been jobless for more than a decade!!!!) and gives us the financial aid we need when in dire trouble.
then there's my grandma (from mom's side) who is also self-righteous, criticizes my mom ever so always it makes me think that's how she shows her love(?) for her, constantly reminds us how poor we are, overly sensitive, has an overly-long patience and provides us financial aid when needed.
of course, there's me, the utterly dysfunctional eldest sibling who has multiple identity disorder, schizophrenia, manic depression and all that pyschological disorders (psychologists will love to have me as a subject).
the only sane person in the lot is my sister who loves to dance and is good at it, loves to sing and is terrible at it, kikay, loving, sweet, and all that good stuff except that sometimes she's overly sensitive too.
sigh... so there you are, welcome to the reyes family, a conglomeration of individually dysfunctional people working as a functional group called family.
and i thought i had an ideal home.
oh well, i guess it's just a brand name.

but still, through the flaws, i love my family. they're the only permanent thing i've got. so i better love them rather than despise them or whatever because i can't choose my family and i won't exchange them for any other fmaily naman eh, if given the chance.

ayun lang, i just wanted to let it out...

Well that was quite a post I posted the last time. Anyhow, as expected, nobody read it. Not that I cared. Not that it mattered. Not that I didn’t care either.
Please don’t think I’m weird (?) today. Just something happening in my family right now. Oh yeah, my 18th year of existence gift to me is family problems. It’s ok. I know there’s a reason. How cliché but it’s true.
ANYWAY, let me just give you a rundown of my impressions for this sem. Just some thoughts. And they’re all going to be written in English because I’m practicing my English skills. I NEEEEEDDD it this sem.
I suppose I’m happy because I’m with people now. No, I’m not saying I wasn’t last sem, what I mean is that I easily have made “friends” this sem. During my loooooong vacant periods, there is always someone I can hang out with. Like Elsie! who has recently been to Singapore and gave me a cute ref magnet (arigatou gozaimasu!) and Kristina, a former schoolmate in my Alma Mater. Also there’s my tru prend Arao, although I doubt we will get together soon knowing how independent and preoccupied she can get. And then the other new people I’ve met in my classes.
I don’t like my schedule that much but I suppose I can’t mope about it forever so I’m not going to. If you had my schedule you’ll probably not like it either because it’s sporadic (is that a correct term?) and not as “intact” as my former schedules. Well here it is to give you an idea:
m-th 7-8:30= Kasaysayan 1
1-2= Philippine Games
t-f 11:30-1= Pol Sci 14
t 4-7= Film 100
f 1-4= Journ 101
w 1-4=Comm 100
See? Hope you understood it. Anyway, the good news about my schedule is that it gives me more time to do whatever assignments or paperworks I have to do for my subjects. So far, they’re all readings-heavy but I expected it knowing UP.
My Journ 101 class requires fieldwork for our stories and us reading the news everyday. I understand my prof fully although I am sure I will find difficulty in swallowing the latter. The former I can bear because we will only be doing two news stories but still, I am expecting the worst to come. But also, as they say, it all takes getting used to it. I am a bit apprehensive about the course because it’s been two years since I’ve written tolerable news. Will do double effort I promise.
I loooovveeee my Film 100 class although we didn’t meet the last time and was only required to watch a gay film, Formula 17. I love it because it’s all about watching movies! Heehee. And I know we’re not going to watch a nonsensical film, that’s why I’m psyched. I’ve noticed that my being a movie buff made me a more critical moviegoer. At least I can use it in this subject. Not trying to be wholly optimistic about the whole subject though. Things have tendencies to go against me.
My Pol Sci 14 class looks ok but not easy to ace. I have to be able to get a 97% to ace it. And my prof said few ace the course. Will do my best. I found out I have a craving for excellence. Yes, I know grades are just numbers socially set up to categorize one’s depth in knowing a subject (but in truth not really), but in the final analysis, achieving a high grade also benefits me. I hone my discipline, hardwork and all that when I strive for something. It gives me a sense of direction and I also realized that it’s my nature. I tried setting for the just-passing-the-course attitude but I just couldn’t stand mediocrity. Not anymore. Even if I bleed just to ace a subject, I would do it. No pain, no gain.
My PG subject gave me hopes of finally getting a 1 point something grade in PE because my prof (who is very beautiful, btw) assured us that she doesn’t give a grade lower than 2. I’m ok with 1.75. I’ve accepted that I’m not a physical person. But then again, if I can ace it, why the hell not???
My prof in Kas 1 has been Tracy’s prof already so I think I know how I’ll fair with her. Tracy almost aced it so I suppose if I tried hard enough I will. If not, least I tried. I’m glad because I already have a friend in the class. I’m just happy because it’s never happened before you know. Just once, I think during my Chem 1 class. Because usually, the person I first acquaint myself with in the class ends up to be not the person I will be friends with for the whole sem. I’m not setting my hopes too high however. Maybe there’ll be a seating arrangement or something. Nonetheless, I’m just glad.
My Comm 100 class proves to be interesting because I’ve met so many people who share the same interest with me. I think I’ll make some friends there.
I’m feeling a little awkward with this whole situation—socializing and stuff. I am nice but I’m not sociable. I suppose because I’ve been used to being alone in the past. Even though this doesn’t turn out the way I think it will (having so many friends), I’ll be fine. I’m a loner by choice.
Anyway, I think my current course is the one. I don’t know why but when I remember that I’m already in the college of Mass Comm, I feel thrilled. It may sound corny but I don’t care.
Altogether, I’m happy—the first time ever—about my college life. Again, I’m not too positive. I know it will still be difficult. But I’m trying not to over-fuss and worry. I’ll reserve that later, hehe.
That’s all, til next time, tata!
PS
I am getting addicted to Naruto. Must stop before too late. Need my concentration.
But I just can’t resist Gaara. And Sasuke. They’re so freaking complicated!
Why am I so enamored with torn, angsty characters???? And why do they (Gaara and Sasuke) have to be one?!
Oh well. Elsie said angst is for kids. If this is such the case, I still am a kid. And if I’m not a kid anymore, angst is not for kids! Is it?
I’m not making sense again. This is bad. Must. Stop.
..sigh..
Just thought I’d share.

been a while since i last posted
just wanted you to know that
I AM SO FREAKING BUSY THAT MY EYEBAGS ARE BECOMING KNAPSACKS ALREADY AND THAT I LOOK 10 YEARS OLDER THAN MY AGE BECAUSE OF SO MANY REPORTS AND READINGS FROM ALL MY FUCKING SUBJECTS...
::sigh::
glad i let that out
i think i don't need to elaborate since that compound-complex sentence has already summarized my emotions and current state of being
that's all
i'll come back to you when i'm better

PS
i am so tired of my layout
will change when have time
if you know where i can buy time, tell me and i'll order for a whole merchandise of it
::sigh::
me going crazy