Mariane's Narratives

nope, it's not me who's dying... my pc is... matatawa kau pag nalaman niyo na ang ginagamit kong cpu ay ung nakahiga at pentium 1 pa ang processor niya and ung printer ko, pang-black and white lang, tipong isang page ay magta-take ng four million years bago ma-print saka bingi ka na pagkatapos dahil sa sobrang ingay niya... funny no? tapos, 6 gigs lang ang memory nito tsong! kaya nagbrea-break down siya kapag nagdo-download ako ng mga files na over 30 MB big. mga limang beses na itong nasira and i ain't happy about those times... ang ganda kasi ng mga nakainstall na games and software sa pc ko nun eh... quake 2, descent, adobe photoshop, super mario bros.... shet, entertainment showcase talaga... kahit na masira ito ay wala namang relevance sa computer world kasi sabi ng erpats ko obsolete na raw ang piyesa nito... eh kasi naman ang erpats ko ibibili na lang ako ng pc, ung super second hand pa ni kopongkopong... di bale, pag nasira raw tong pc ko ngayon, kukunin na niya ung ino-offer na xp pc ng tito ko sa province... buti pa sa probinsiya mei xp na pc! shet talaga...
on a lighter note, i feel confident about my nat sci 1 second exam today... nag-aral kasi ako mabuti kaya medyo madali lang ang exam... pero ayoko nang mag-expect, nade-dedo lang ako pag nage-expect ako eh...
bte, i'm currently reading dan brown's deception point and fight club ni chuck (ang hirap ipronounce nung last name niya eh)... pdf files lang siya na nai-download ko sa site na ito: highfiber.org. kailangan mag-member ka muna, pero ayos lang, sandali lang ang process...
kumuha na ako ng application form mula sa college of mass comm... actually, lima ang pagshi-shiftan ko... para siguradong ala na ako sa che... hehe... my choices are: journ, ba psych, film, creative writing and sociology/ english stud... siguro naman makakapasa na ako dun no?
oh well, that's all, til next time, tata!

PEOPLE, TELL ME IF THE TAGBOARD'S NOT WORKING KASI EVERYTIME I CHECK, ALA NAMAN NAGTA-TAG... I APPRECIATE IT KASI YOU KNOW...
it's been a while na nagpost ako rito...
minsan kasi nakakatamad... eto na naman ako na nanghihinawa na sa isang bagay na gustong-gusto ko dati... tulad ng fanfiction.net na super excited akong magbasa ng mga reviews ng readers ko, ng friendster na feeling ko ay may naga-add sa aking palagi, at marami pang iba...
baka ngayon lang ito... ewan...
masaya naman ako this day kasi mataas ang second exam ko sa nat sci 1 and my chemistry prof for nat sci 1 looks promising...
tiningnan ko ang mail ko and saw three requests for my tab temps... nice naman people appreciated it... and people still visit this pala...
btw, i like this layout i'm using kasi may dating siya sa akin... ala lang... galing ng sxc.hu ang pics.
kahapon pumunta ako and my mom sa makati... nag-libot-libot... ang ganda na pala dun ano? grabe, makes me feel so poor... nagwindow shopping nga kami ng mom ko ng underwear kasi daga na lang ang nakikinabang sa mga panty namin... hehe
ayun lang, til next time, tata!

noong thursday, kasama ko hs bessie ko sa starbucks katips and we were catching up on each other and, oddly enough, talking seriously about life, religion, education etc. first time ever ko na makausap siya nang ganun ka-serious.
hay, tumatanda na ako...
niweiz, she stood up from our seat kasi kumuha siya ng water. then, surprisingly mey guys na nag-approach sa akin and ask my name... we chitchatted a bit and i learned na taga-up sila parehas.. pagbalik nung bessie ko, we gave each other that look and pretended na ala lang ang the whole thing... nagsuplada siya dun sa isang mas malapit sa kanya na guy while i sort of entertained the other guy.
maya-maya, they said na mauuna na sila. na-shock ako ng biglang kunin nung guy na ine-entertain ko (he was pretty good-looking) yung number ko... e di binigay ko naman kasi i didn't see anything wrong with giving it...
tapos, nung pag-alis nila my bessie and i giggled like hs girls and alam mo na...
i honestly didn't expect na magte-text yung guy kasi feeling ko it's a guy nature na gawin yon...
gulat ako nang mag-text siya nung night ding iyon and stuff...
nakita ko na lang yung message the morning after kasi nasa sis ko yung fone... we texted a little and that's when i learned na he's taken na pala...
OK LANG... di naman ako nag-iilusyon na magkaroon ng ka-relasyon ngayon eh... nakita ko siya sa up noong the next day pero hindi ko siya nabati kasi ... ewan ko, ala lang...
at least nagka-spice ang stagnant life ko... and at least, i experienced being asked my number by a guy and siya pa unang nag-approach and he's got some looks...
ayun lang, naikuwento ko lang, til next time, tata!

I got inspired to write this while I was watching Simple Plan’s video, “Shut Up”. The line there was this poem’s namesake and it kinda struck me to write a poem with this theme.

I won’t mind
If you hurt me
I won’t flinch
I’ve got a wall
Within a wall
Within a wall
That even I
Can’t break
Can you please
Bring it down?
Murder it?
Bury it deep?
In the end
Please don’t remind me
That it’s mine
Bring me down
Tear me apart
Break my shackles
Shatter me to pieces
Curse me
Damage me
Anything just
To bring me down
Cause I’m so tired
Of myself
I’m so tired
Of bitching
And I can’t help
But be me
Cause I’m all I got now
Maybe if you break me
I’ll be someone you’ll love
Someone more than a wall
Please bring me down
Save me
Help me
Take me away
From me

i've got a new layout kasi i noticed na simula ng nagbago ako ng layout, ala ng bumisita sa site ko... saka napansin ko rin na ang super-small ng text ng journal entries ko so eto na... geran, considerable space for all to read!
medyo gloomy mood ng layout pero ala ng pakialamanan... di porke ganito ito ay lonely ako sa valentines... in the first place, i don't celebrate that day naman eh... i think it's sooo corny... no offense to lovers out there..
four people, all in all, have asked me for the templates up at my other site aka tambakan... two of which gusto yung sunset, one of which type yung stairs and another liked the fragile template...
i've done seven more, all have celebrities in it. when i used to have adobe kasi i made 11 layouts for my domain (na binili ko sa marvinsweb.net kaso kinansel ko rin dahil ala akong pera pambayad)... i've also saved a lot of pictures para sa mga layout ideas noon kaya eto, hinahalungkat ko sila uli for further use here...
ayun lang, andami ko pang dapat ginagawa kaysa eto, so control...
til next time, tata!

yep, watched two movies this week. let me start off with shall we dance.
starring jennifer lopez, richard gere and susan sarandon, this supposedly makes-you-realize-something comedy is about dancing and finding the meaning of life. it's very light and smooth-paced. the plot's not original though not too common either. the actors were ok, in fact i commend jennifer's pensive mood all throughout the film. the moral of the story is learned at the end when the credits roll. with all these good elements coming together, it should definitely be a good movie isn't it?
unfortunately, it didn't make me feel light nor laugh at the supposedly funny scenes nor realize anything about life.
i am not that cynical not to appreciate something i should appreciate so i guess the movie's just empty. yes, maybe you've heard it's gotten good reviews from your parents or amigas of your mom but i don't think it deserves the recommendation. i dunno, maybe when i get older, have three kids, divorce my husband and marry my second husband, will i get to appreciate the bottomline of this flick. rating: 2.25 out of 5 stars.
i watched constantine today, cutting classes again. pagbigyan niyo na ako. depressed ako ngayon eh. something to do with me feeling i'm not getting what i want and what i deserve while other people go on getting what should be mine... fuck it... so much for thinking i'm ok... maybe you'll say "so pano na pag depressed ka ibubunton mo sa pag-aaral at magcu-cut ka?"... oo ganun na nga.. i'm sooooo confused and scared of what's become of me that i don't know what to do next... shitshitshitshit...
on to my review... definitely, constantine's trailer is better than the film and you will probably get the plot of the film from watching the trailer and the making of. but i still watched it, though imdb.com viewers thought it was crappy. i like keanu. period. rest your case.
the fx were good... although typical and medyo halata pero pwede na... the acting was five thumbs up for gavin rossdale and rachel weisz... keanu, i realize, isn't meant for sarcastic, angry, unlikely heroes. pero ala naman akong maisip na puwede sa role niya... he's not a total miscast but he isn't the perfect one for it either... anyway, he tried by giving you some dark, smoky looks and sounding really husky... pero half of the time he did that, i can't understand what he was saying...
the flow of the story was pretty good.. the demonic scenes made me rethink if i should kill myself again... the morality issues posed confused me further... and i wished there was really a guy like constantine and a religious situation like that in the movie para simple na lang ang buhay...
i liked the director's style in shooting some of the scenes... very creatively done... the cinematography was dark as required... the suspenseful scenes were a little suspenseful (i expected it, the paranoid i am)... there were a few weird scenes and some questions like what was the tattoo on his arms and why did gabrielle betray God? i know she said why pero i didn't understand eh... nabibingi na yata ako...
watch it and be entertained... 3.25 out of 5 stars.
that's it for my movie revs...til next time, tata!

obviously, it was because i haven't posted for 6 days!
well, depression has set in for the past 6 days that's why i haven't posted
dami ko ring ginagawang paper works and group reports and shit.
hay, nakakapressure... rmeind me never ever ever ever to pick a ge course as demanding as those i have taken now...
i just hope it will all be over soon.
balak ko pa naman mag-summer...
oh well...
sabi nga ni vivian, "AJA!"
lol...
btw, i rewatched constantine nung monday kaya di na naman ako nag-attend nung class ko ng 1-2:30... 3rd absence ko na un pero ok lang kasi hindi naman xa naga-attendance... sana lang di muna ako makarma kasi monday na first exam dun...
hay...
AJA!
i learned from my chem 1 class that i suffer from loss of vitamin b12 kaya madalas akong ma-depress, mairita, makalimot, mapagod at maging apathetic...
siguro pag nagmega-dose raw ako nun, mas mama-manage ko ang depressions ko...
hay...
ayun lang, til next time, tata!

mei etching na naman na bago ang tabulas a...
hehe, may tabs na for bold, italicize, link and entry break...
wow!
ay naku, share na lang me sa inyo ng ilang sites i think you should visit:
Sexy Losers- yep, medyo adult ang content nito, lots of mtb happening... pero nakakaaliw ang mga banatan and batuhan ng punch lines... the later strips are very well-done
High Fiber Five-another community site pero it has a lot to offer... andaming fun discussions, cool downloads and really nice photos to comment on and shit... i always go here now.
Code Gurrl Resources- loads of nice resources.
Umm, yn lang muna...
BTW, if you're interested at Keanu's next movie (yeah I'm his stalker now), read the script here pero eto yung version ni Charlie kaufman. it's the first ever draft, unedited and all. RIchard Linklater and another guy is also involved in the script so I bet the movie's not quite this version. Pero tingnan niyo na rin kung ala kayung magawa. I didn't understand it so ewan, no comment.
Charlie Kaufman also made the first draft for Eternal Sunshine..., Being John Malkovich, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Adaptation.
[Hay, di pa pala ako nagre-review sa exam tomorrow... naku naku.,,]
ayun lang, til next time tata!